Monumentality

Loyal Turmoil,
I feel that my insides are coils,
Water too close to boiling,
Pulled too taut, straining,
I will try refraining
From explosive obscenities.
Fear is the enemy
And wrath my ally,
Where all the power lies,
I will try, though, to keep the beast at bay
To spare anyone who may
Have never been exposed to my brutality.

Caged Rage,
It has torn a hole through the pages,
And now a war is waging
Between that evil fiend Reality
And the carefully constructed Beauty
Of the creation in my head,
And me, without tears to shed,
Only seething anger while
All I love is defiled,
Tainted beyond repair,
Until I have nowhere
To disengage myself from
Everything and everyone.

Riding on the upswing,
Ah, the tumultuous joy it brings!
A punishing wave of confusion,
Delusion and seclusion,
Self-inflicted mayhem
Will bring me absolution.