Of Joe And Golden Ages

A significant milestone is fast approaching, one that requires pause and acknowledgement.  Soon, Joe and I will have been together for ten years.  We came into being as an entwined entity on January 7th of 2000.  Our relationship itself is a miracle, a perfect culmination of timing and circumstance and karma.  The simple fact of cohabitation with someone for that long is quite an accomplishment, as anyone involved with someone for the long haul knows.  I can say with a generous dose of candidness that I am not an easy creature to share space with.  I know I expect much from a mate, and it takes someone of almost super-human inner strength to walk beside me on this path.  I just happened to get lucky this go-round and I found Joe.  So I feel that now is the time to honor that and pay tribute to an incredible man who strives every single day to not only meet my expectations but to exceed them.

Not enough people in this age understand how valuable hard work is, and hard work is grossly undervalued in society.  Joe’s unique experiences in his lifetime gave him a work ethic like no other, a true hunky nature, the quintessential laborer of old.  But something about him is wired differently than the standard grunt in the proverbial trenches.  Joe has a fire in his spirit that genuinely burns from the physicality of brutal, fast-paced labor, a fire that sparks great intelligence and profound memory skills.  His knowledge of sports, movies, actors and roles, music and musicians, figures and statistics is utterly amazing.  His grasp of world events and politics is deep.  The complexities and levels in Joe are still a mystery to me, yet he is the simplest person, never wanting more out of life than comfort, love, and encouragement.  He doesn’t ask for more than he is willing to work for, but he does expect to be compensated for his efforts, and too many times, the system shorts him out of that gratitude.  It causes him restless nights and worrisome days, not because hard times may cause him to want or need, because hard times may cause his small family to want or need.  He fights hard every day, knowing there will probably not be a time when he will be recognized, and still he is undeterred.

There are days Joe is the only person I want to talk with.  From the early budding stages of our relationship, he has been able to match wits with me, has been the first to get my one-liners and laugh, the best listener, the most interesting responder.  Two-way communication on equal footing is paramount to me.  Thou shalt be able to carry on a real conversation with me.  We watch football together on Sundays, and between the two of us, we are more funny and far quicker than any announce team out there.  It is a true joy, a bonding I never had until we met.  We share opinions, and he can express himself easily, naturally, just like me.  We have grand and glorious arguments, and though heated, they are often insightful, for both of us.  I know when the grind of the day has gotten to him, for he cannot chatter on or give me full attention, and I know better than to be upset by this.

Most people who know him can see how much he has changed since we found each other.  He’s solid, stable, strong and proud, but decent, humble, and kind.  These were all components of him before, but now they are whole, working together to complete the picture.  But some of you may not know how much I have changed since we met.  I’ve been tempered, tamed, calmed.  I’ve learned to be generous and open, but not foolish and vulnerable.  I’ve found my voice, and I am no longer terrified to use it.  I’ve learned to be penny-wise and frugal, and still enjoy life by finding peace in the everyday process of living.  Joe has given me backing so I could learn to shine; he has given me stability so I could search the turmoil of my own soul and finally put myself together.  And most important, Joe has given me time, the most valuable treasure of all.  Because of all his efforts, I am free to pursue any avenue I fancy.  I can write, I can bake and cook, I can paint, I can make music, I can dance and sing, I can walk, and I can take care of everything he has given me-another daughter, a home to putter about in, animals, and him.  I care for him, for I care about him, and he matters.  And maybe I should tell him that more, but sometimes I don’t have all the words.  So I happily tend to the wash and the dishes (well, not so happily the dishes, but at least with grudging respect) and the housework.  And I gleefully cook meals I know he will eat, for he is open to anything I prepare and he praises my abilities and never complains, whether I make beef stroganoff from scratch or hot dogs and boxed mac and cheese.  He gives me everything he can to make sure I always have what I need to make the foods I want to serve.  And I do all I can do to give him the comfort, love, and encouragement he needs.  That is what has changed in me since knowing Joe-a shift away from self-centrism.  I can give, of myself and my time, and I can balance it all because of all this man does out of love for his family.

So ten years have passed, and here we are, Joe and I.  We’ve traveled down dark roads into hairy situations together, side by side.  We’ve defended one another, protected one another, bolstered up one another.  We’ve laughed to tears and shed them in sorrow together.  We’ve been through blizzards and hurricane remnant floods and blistering summers together.  We’ve outlasted and outgrown friendships with some folks, and formed new ones with new folks.  We’ve been to new places and shared new ideas and brought new life into this world together.  We’ve grown and learned and changed and matured, yet both of us have managed to stay true to our natures, to be the essence of who we are as individuals.  It’s been a golden age, these past ten years, and already I know it will keep getting better.  In a rare, prescient moment, I saw our future clearly, and, though I won’t spoil the ending for you all too much, I can tell you it’s a happy…(never)ending.

Love and light,
Tanya