Retrospeculative

I’ve expressed it best
When I’ve let go of the mess
In my head,
Then I’ve been lead
To that place inside
Where it’s all opened wide.

I’ve spread my mental wings
To encompass everything
I’ve ever learned, been told,
And, at 37 years old,
I can say with great conviction
That I need no benediction,

No prayers or supplications,
No loyalty to any nations,
I am a world child,
Both tempestuous and mild,
In touch with my inner universe,
Filled with love, about to burst.

And I’ve often, with my pen,
Reached inside and found my Zen,
Yes, I have studied a flower,
Whimsically whiled away the hours,
Gone full circle many times
To learn that life is sublime.

I’ve drawn pictures and conclusions,
Been caught up in crowds and in seclusion,
Followed my dreams
And mountain streams,
Been a borrower and a lender,
A receiver and a sender.

I’ve been reinvented and changed,
I’ve been eclectic and strange,
I’ve lost my way,
I’ve lost whole days,
I’ve found myself, found release,
I’ve learned how to steal moments of peace.


Much can be said about what I’ve gained
Standing in the driving rain,
Tooling down back country roads,
Examining bugs and communing with toads,
Bathing nude in quiet pools,
Talking with sages and also with fools.

I’ve said what I had to,
Done what I could do
To become all I am,
Gone from Miss to Ma’am,
So much I have grown
And come into my own.

I’m all I want to be,
And, put plain and simply,
I’ve become wholly and utterly
Me.